Sunday, September 16, 2012

Brain Dump

Ouch, my brain hurts. If ever there was a time I wish I could do a brain dump - use some type of chip to download everything I learned this weekend to a hard drive - I would. Drew and I took time to attend the Empowered to Connect conference this weekend and what a life-changing experience it was for us. Yes, you heard me. Life-changing. On so many levels. Can't even get into it all right now, that will have to wait for another day and another post.

Complete strangers from our adoption agency who were in town for the conference came over to our home for dinner (hey, when you live in the South, you open your home to others and serve them tons of food, am I right?). At the end of this weekend, they feel like dear friends. We spent precious time after dinner praying over a hard issue for one of the families. We laughed, we cried, we compared notes, we cried some more, and for the first time in this process I felt that sense of camaraderie. I knew the online adoption community was alive and kicking, but boy what a difference it makes to have some of them in the flesh to love on you and speak words of encouragement!

I could tell my brain was reaching overload when I crashed last night at 8:30 p.m. after getting the girls to bed. I simply couldn't focus on anything else. I didn't even care to watch the DVR'd Alabama/Arkansas game (which shows you how exhausted I was!). The purpose of the conference was, in my mind, to have a deeper understanding of where these precious children are coming from, and what our role, as adoptive parents, is in connecting to them as they make this tough transition. I learned so much more, and I'm grateful for all the resources I collected over the weekend.

This awesome conference was followed by two wonderful sermons at church (yes, I attended two services today!). The early service focused on inclusive love, and the passage about Philip and the Ethiopian was discussed (Acts 8:26-40). I've never read that passage before, but my ears definitely perked up when I heard the word "Ethiopian!"

And the second service moved me to tears (really, I should just give it up and start carrying around a package of tissues). The focus was about what makes you angry, and how we should pay attention to what makes God upset. Our pastor asked us that if we had the courage, to ask God to break our hearts for what breaks His. Because if our eyes are opened to what breaks God's heart, maybe we can have the strength to be moved to action. To make a difference. To defend those who can't defend themselves. 

My breath caught in my throat, because I felt like he was singing my song. Ever feel like someone is talking to a crowd but you feel like they're talking right to you? I certainly felt that way today. Everywhere I turned, there was another message giving me such comfort about the direction our family is headed.

We're still waiting for that one sheet of paper from the government so that we can "officially" begin the waiting period. As I always say, I can't imagine how tough this waiting process will be (I really am going to dread still waiting one year from now, I just know it. And I don't EVEN want to think about two years from now). However, I don't want to waste the time I'm given, so I look forward to learning everything I can and deepening my walk with Him during this first stage of the journey.

Much love,

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