As we've begun this process, one of the first items on the check list for our agency is to make sure we understand all aspects of adoption, and begin adoption education classes. Classes online, workshops in Nashville, a massive stack of books to read... it will definitely keep me busy while we're waiting for our referral!
Before class sign-ups though, I've been reading. Reading. And reading some more. If you've known me for quite some time, you know I have a voracious appetite when it comes to reading. I don't know how I find the time to do it, but I so enjoy tearing through books. I had no earthly idea how many adoption books were out there until I began to research. So I'm working through many of them - how to deal with children when they've had a "troubled" background, being fully prepared as a transracial family, helping our daughters learn more about adoption, how Christ has called us to adopt....and on and on and on.
The books can be overwhelming at times. And yet, the stack of books reminds me of when I first became pregnant with my oldest. I can't begin to list all the books I read (and believe me, you don't want to know!), but I know it gave me comfort to read as much as possible.
As I was halfway through a book the other night, it hit me that technically, I'm not pregnant, but yet I am. In a way. I've heard it called a "paper pregnancy," so I guess that's where I am right now. Except I won't have a baby in 9 months. I won't feel him kick. I won't make the drive to the hospital or come home with a newborn.
But I do have him on my mind and in my heart. I will make a mad dash over to Africa as soon as I hear the word that we're approved and our court date is set. And I will come home with a precious son that God has hand-picked, just for my family.
So I sit back, pick up my book and relish in the thoughts of this new and different pregnancy.