Thursday, June 21, 2012

Diving In

What a busy week this has been! First and foremost, I can't thank everyone enough for the support we've received. The kind words through phone calls and email give me such encouragement as we move forward in this process.

That said, we made our first large payment to the agency, which will soon follow by another large chunk of money for the homestudy. The hubby and I sat down the other night to talk through some of the financing because as I'm sure you know, adoption is expensive. Sometimes it makes my heart race just thinking about it.
So knowing we had these two back-to-back payments, I started thinking. "We need to start consigning the girls' baby clothes, we need to work harder on cutting down expenses..." blah blah blah.

And last night? Well, last night stopped me in my tracks.

Drew came home from work with fabulous news. He was getting an extra paycheck as a thank you for the countless hours he's logged over the last 8 months. And the amount? Almost exactly what we need to cover the first agency payment and homestudy cost.

[deep breaths]

[more deep breaths]

Really God? Really? How awesome are You? Because we don't deserve it. We don't always make the best decisions. We're such sinners. And yet...

He blessed us. He held our hands and said, "I love you. You have made the right decision. And I'm going to completely freak you out by slapping a check in your bank account for exactly what you need." (Okay, I don't believe God talks like that verbatim, but hey, it's my story!)

I'll tell you this. I know there will be moments I get discouraged by this whole process. I'll have times where the waiting kills me. And when our son finally comes home, I'm sure I'll wonder sometimes if I was completely crazy.

But then I'll remember times like this. And you know what? God may not give us a check like that again. Goodness knows, we are going to work hard to pull together the rest of this money. But I so love moments where God calms my heart and reminds me that He and He alone is in control. All I have to do is follow Him.

And my devotional for this morning? It was a story about adoption. Because you know, God likes to work in funny ways like that.

"Jesus answered, 'I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.'" John 14:6

Dear Lord, I'm taking a deep breath and diving into Your way. Lord, help me please as I put my trust in You.

And in honor of diving in, I can't help but listen to this song and smile:

Humbled, once again,